That Face At the Edge of your Vision

IN VIRGINIA

6 hours away from my house

It’s fantastic and they have cheetos here

don’t ever take me away 

My friend got arrested at work the other day for reasons unknown and today she told me her court date was monday. Sending strong prayers her way.

Also, I forgot to wear my sheep gloves to work and I was ticked off for a good amount of the day, and also cold.

And then I went to my sweetheart’s house to hang out and he started into a conversation that made my stomach drop. And not in a good way.I felt so completely horrible but I have reasons for why I am the way I am. I’m not just going to let him do anything he wants to me. It’s not the same as last time. He respects my boundaries more. But something like that hurts quite a bit when you aren’t the least bit prepared to deal with it. It’s a good thing my will is strong enough to resist the temptations and coercements or I would have changed for the worse a long time ago.

When people assume that I care that they get up at 5:45 to go to public school.

Who’s more alert?

I go to sleep early. I get up when I need to so I can get ready for work/school.

You go to sleep LATE. You get up at the crack of dawn.

Who’s smarter?

I get fully rested and retain my knowledge of the few hours of school I do.

You get 4 or 5 hours of sleep and forget everything you learn in the seven hours you’re required to stay. And after that, you have at least three hours of homework that you don’t know how to do because you slept through third block.

Don’t you DARE tell me that homeschooling is not good enough. Don’t you DARE tell me that I don’t learn enough.

 Go away.

—Feyv

“Never thought that you would be the one

Actin like a slut when I was gone

Maybe ya shouldnt

Oh oh

Kiss and tell”
Kiss and tell - Ke$ha 

For serious, that really wasn’t nice. I don’t know when it happened, but really, you knew I was interested in him and you told him what I did with you? Dick move right there. And you told him lies too. Not nice. I would never do that.

Bleeding for you, yet again

—Feyv

I shall tell you how my day went. And a little bit of New Year’s Day, too.

First up: New Year’s Day. I spent it working. Yeah, lame. But it was okay, I didn’t actually want to do anything special for the holiday. Granted, I did stay up until one in the morning on the phone with [guess]. But then I didn’t actually have to work until 12 on the 1st, so it worked out, I still got enough sleep. Anyway, this guy showed up and started hanging around Carly and Anna, just creepily staring at them. He was talking about random crap, too. And eventually someone notified my store manager, who pulled the creeper aside and told him if he didn’t leave the store, he would call the police. Guess who didn’t leave the store. Guess who called the police. He did leave, but he was told if he came back in he would be arrested. So that happened. AND THEN I thought I saw him come back, so I told the store manager and he took me into his office (scary) to review the tapes to see if it was actually him. It wasn’t, thank god, but it looked like the man stole something, so I at least did SOMEthing right.

Next up: Today. I spent it working. Ha ha, that’s funny, because…Everything happens while I’m at work. Anyway, I did actually get a break on time (about halfway through my 5 hour shift) but I was the ONLY PERSON ON THE REGISTERS FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS. And even when the next person showed up at 4 like they were supposed to (that’s when my shift was SUPPOSED to end) No one even noticed the desperate glances I was giving the customer assistance desk. No one. So about 35 minutes after I was supposed to leave, I finally just ASKED to go home. They were like “oh yeah” and blocked off my lane and I went home. GRAH. FRIKIN SEND ME HOME WHEN I’M SUPPOSED TO GO HOME.

Tomorrow: I will spend it working.

Thursday: I will spend it working.

Friday: I will spend it working.

Saturday: I’m supposed to have a day off but more than likely, someone will ask me to cover their shift and I will spend it working.

Sunday: I will spend it working.

Monday: I will NOT be working and I will be going to Gavel to give the best speech ever. (I might post it later)

Tuesday: I will spend it working.

Did I mention that starting Wednesday, it’s Super Double Coupon week? I would like to just go into a coma for at least 5 days and blame it on this idiotic cold I have. At least I’ll get to work with people I like, right? Hmm. I wonder who’s working tomorrow.

All my love

—Feyv

Hope your new year(s) are a hell of a lot better than mine are gonna be.

I’m kickin the year off so sick I can’t even talk, my knee hurting twice as much as normal for no reason, and when I walk I feel like I’m twenty times heavier because my entire body aches.

I’m looking forward to restless nights and sleepy days, due to the fact that I’m up all night coughing and only sleeping for 30 minute increments and also because my body can’t decide whether I want a pile of blankets or nothing at all. I probably have a fever of at least 100 degrees and a sore throat and nausea/tummy troubles AND its coming upon that time of month, which, as a special christmas present, nature decided not to give me one for december and save it all instead for when my poor system is tryin to fight off all the crap it can.

That said, I’m having a merry post-christmas and pre-new year, since we (as in all of us, not just me) got a Wii with Just Dance 3 and Super Smash Bros Brawl, and a bunch of Xbox 360 games including Assassin’s Creed 1&2, Oblivion, Plants Vs. Zombies, Dead Rising, Dead Space, Lego Indiana Jones, Lego Harry Potter, and Resident Evil 5, and a few PS3 games including Uncharted 3, Final Fantasy XIII, Infamous 2, and last but not least Skyrim, so I haven’t gotten to play much of anything since Conall and my Dad hog the Xbox 360 playing Lego/Zombie games respectively and Cole is constantly on the PS3 with Skyrim, and I suspect he will until MONTHS from now.

So cheers to getting better all around from me,

—Feyv

I didn’t sleep very well last night, and now I wake up (for like the fourth time) and my stomach feels icky. This is not a good day for this, since I have work from 10 to 4 and its ANCIENT DAY for cryin out loud! I need to be on top of my game so I can deal with all the dinosaurs romping through my trench like they have a clue.

My Uncle gets in for Christmas today, and idk WHEN exactly, but probably while I’m working. I don’t even have a gift for him :’/

I got buttons for my mother’s sweater, and they’re beautiful, and so is the sweater…but it’s probably going to be way too big. 6 MONTHS OF WORK. WASTED. But I’m proud of her, she’s lost at least 25 lbs.

I got a necklace for Christmas. Its an amethyst, and I love it.

And now, it’s time for me to go annnnd dry my hair/prettify myself for work. Too bad my undershirt smells like crap. Not that the dinosaurs will get close enough to smell that.

—Feyv

I mean, EVERYONE makes mistakes like this

But the difference between them and me is

I can’t stop beating myself up over these tiny little things that really won’t make much difference in the long run

And I’m glad he waited until I was off to tell me

but seriously

That just ruined my whole freaking day.

CRYING. Why can’t I just freaking do ONE GOOD THING and not expect retribution??

Pardon me while I dread tomorrow for the rest of my night. I really just want to cry.

—Feyv

Sandy’s a little…tipsy…

This kid…

He just needs to go to sleep.

xD

—Feyv

There’s some MAD sewing going down right here in this room, yessir.

I have to get my mom’s Christmas present done BEFORE Christmas. And none of this crappy day-before-Christmas like I did last year. This year, I’m tackling this thing NOW so I can have it done, folded, packed, and WRAPPED by the time we’re done setting up for the holidays.

I just hope to god it’s not too big, because my mom has lost almost twenty-five pounds since september (I think) GO MOM! But I’m gonna be a bit disappointed if this thing doesn’t fit since I’ve been working on it since June. One seam at a time, this thing is gonna be beautiful.

I wonder if I can get that jacket done for Christmas too….but that would be more for me since…well…that would just be weird. Yep.

Anyway…

So I have a boyfriend now ^_^ He’s nuts…but who isn’t? I’m constantly surprised by his antics. He’s an enigma that I’m never gonna solve. But strangely…I like it.

—Feyv

♪ You put your arms around me, and I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and hold. ♪

It’s stuck in my head. Over and over. Every day at work. Yeah.

I just had the most amazing morning/night yesterday. Yeah, sure, Thanksgiving is cool with your family n all, but I spent my morning AND my night with my friend, and I would just like to go back to yesterday and be back there and do it all again. However, I have work in less than an hour, so I really should be getting ready for that instead of sitting here in my pjs typing out what could possibly become very long if I dont get off

right

now

Goodbye

—Feyv

So either the HT radio/music comm system was skipping or my manager’s personal playlist sucks majorly. Party in the USA played twice within thirty minutes, and then some other random song played twice an hour later. I was mock dancing to it with my buddy on three and it was hilarious.

Also at work…

About two hours into my six hour shift, I started to get really hot, my stomach hurt like an [expletive], my head hurt, I was getting dizzy, and I couldn’t tell whether my forehead was hot because my hands were so cold. So after another two hours, I got to go on break (which is 15 minutes,  but if you take 3 to get to the car, 5 to call my mom, and 5 to get back and wash my hands, I only really had two minutes to sit there and be still and drink down a 8 oz bottle of water) and then I had another 2 hours of work. THANK GOD MY MOM CAME IN. She let my manager know I wasn’t feeling well and so she (the manager) told me just to go home when my shift was done.

AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH…

The schedule is usually available on Monday or Tuesday for the following week (week starts on Wednesday and ends on Tuesday) but today it WASN’T. TODAY IS TUESDAY JUST SO YA KNOW. So not only did I have an evil day at work, I also forgot to get my schedule. SO NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK AND SEE IF IT’S UP YET. So I’m going to know in a few minutes whether or not I have MORE work tomorrow. GAH D:

Ehhh…I think that’s it for now. More venting/otherwise later? Who knows.

—Feyv

Please

Can I just

replay those five seconds over and over again in my head?

I like this warm, cozy feeling.

-Feyv